Baddmom

Jan 16, 2012 7:08 PM
The benefit this weekend was insanely, incredibly amazing. We were both moved to tears at different times. Our kids talked of how much love they felt from so many people. Daphnie summed it up by saying, “Mom, I don’t really understand why, but there are a lot of people who love us.” Indeed. We have never experienced anything quite so overwhelmingly wonderful in our lives. The effort put into the event, the incredible donations for the auction, the music, the food, the fact that so many people came…. The list goes on and on. Where do we start with giving thanks? How do we even say thank you? How do you show the proper amount of appreciation for this outpouring of love? These are questions I can’t answer. I start to think about it and I’m brought to tears — tears of gratitude. Know that every single person who was there (in person or in spirit) has changed our lives for the better. We are the lucky ones, we are blessed, we are lifted up and it is because of the love that all of you have shown us.

Amazing grace. We are humbled, we are thankful, we are loved and we thank you for that.

xoxo,
Felicia and Michael

As we wrap up the holiday season for 2011, I sit reflecting on it all. First thoughts are that life is so strange right now. There is all this “normal” floating around in a sea of crazy ocean. It’s like there are two different lives going on in parallel. This regular life where we are on break from school and having christmas with the family – cooking, cleaning, laughing, playing. Then there is also this epic battle for life happening inside my husband while we just hang out together. So strange. If I get to thinking too much about it, I can get pretty stressed. So I clean, I organize, I stay busy. It’s the quiet moments that are the hardest (luckily these types of moments are not too common in our house). People think I’m strong, that I have it all together. I can assure you that I am not, that there are many times I lose it, that I cave to feeling sorry for myself, that I lose faith briefly, that i feel defeated.  These aren’t my proudest moments, but they exist. Somehow, through Grace, I am scooped back up and propped upright again, stronger. Sometimes it’s my kids, sometimes it’s friends, sometimes it’s family, sometimes it’s Michael who bring me this gift of strength.  All I know is each time I fall, I am lifted back up.  With each lift, I am reminded that I will never be left alone in grief.  Somehow I am given the strength to handle challenges that come my way. I have so much happiness in my life right now. The key to recognizing this most days is to stay in the present, don’t fret about what the future holds, hold my faith high, keep friends and family close. Great life lessons for sure. What a gift.

Livestrong

Tags: Cancer, effcancer, liver metastasis, livestrong

Well, today is what I like to call Chapter 3: The Chemo Fight. In case you are keeping track… Chapter 1: The Diagnosis, Chapter 2: The Surgery.

Here we sit with the chemical cocktail coursing into Michael and letting his body know we aren’t going to take this lying down. It’s strange, really. We are in this big room with about 32 treatment chairs, about 1/4 of them full (so, how many chairs have people in them, how many are empty? Sorry, it’s the math teacher in me) and we are all counting on this liquid drip stuff to save us/our loved ones. Weird. As I look around the room, I see that cancer really doesn’t have a “type”. It really does affect everyone. Young, old, all ethnicities — we are all included in this club. As I type, the chairs start to fill. Each person carrying their own hope, grief, sadness, strength, faith. We are all together yet fighting our own battles. What a community we are.

livestrong indeed.

Tags: Cancer, colon cancer, effcancer, faith, liver metastasis, livestrong

I met Michael when I was 21, still in college. We met on jan 6(1993) and I would have married him the night we met. Instead, we moved in together 2 months later. He is my soul mate, my best friend and i knew it the moment we first met. Yes, we are THAT kind of couple. We are supposed to be that couple who dies very old, in our sleep, holding hands. That is the only way I choose to see it. It is the way it will be. This will be “that year Michael beat cancer”. They have either made an error on the severity or there is a better treatment out there. Something. I will not give up. I cannot. Our girls are depending on us.

Tags: Cancer, hope, liver metastasis, livestrong

If you know me on Facebook or Twitter, you may already know the news about my new job. If you don’t, here it is: I am now a full time 6th grade Math tutor at Mendez Middle School . This is a great opportunity to reach kids who are really struggling in Math as they start their middle school career. I will work with two students at a time in 45 minute blocks all school day. (This is the plan anyway, subject to change as we get started) I’m thrilled to be selected for this position and I feel that it will be a challenge I will enjoy.

I am busy spending this weekend getting prepared for Monday, my first day. This involves strange things like sorting the girls’ clothes and re-caulking the baseboards. Weird, I know, but that’s the way I prepare. It has been a while since I have had ONE full time job. Mostly since I’ve had kids, I’ve pieced together several part time or contract jobs. I’ve had multiple roles within a start up; I’ve represented multiple brands on Twitter, Facebook and blogs; I’ve run marketing campaigns while also selling real estate. It will be a major difference in job lifestyle, but one I am looking forward to having. I’m curious to hear from others who have gone from freelance or contract work to full employment. How was it for you? Also, teachers — what can you tell me about preparing for my first day with the students? Anything you did that worked or (even better) that didn’t work? I found some good tips here on the WeAreTeachers blog as well.

So, Monday I start with the rest of the staff at Mendez and in a week we welcome the students! That is when the real fun will begin

This weekend I will be turning 40. I guess this is midlife (ish) and I’m due for some sort of a crisis. I’d love to use that as an excuse to put pink streaks in my hair, but I’m job hunting and that might not go over so well. So, I’ll put that on hold. I can’t think of any other way to celebrate the crisis, but I guess I’m supposed to evaluate my life so far. Here goes.

Where am I in life at 40? Am I where I planned on being? On paper, I don’t think it looks too good. I’m unemployed (ish), I weigh more than I would like, I drive a really old car, my clothes aren’t very stylish, etc. Why then am I more centered and happy than I clearly should be? I mean it really doesn’t make sense, but it is true. My employment issues are certainly real, but I am so excited about becoming a teacher that I look forward to each step in the process. Yes, even if that means subbing for another semester until I find the right place. I learn so much from each day in a classroom that how could I possibly dread it? My weight/unfit issues have driven me to start 30 Days of Moving to keep me on track. In the meantime, I have so enjoyed the community of friends who have joined the endeavor! What a gift that I didn’t even expect! My really old car is “there” for me — it fits all my kids plus a friend, gets decent gas mileage, and I never have to worry about someone stealing it My clothes are comfortable and I live in a city where style is all about feeling good, not jumping on each latest trend. So, I’m happy with the “look”. So, overall, things are not perfect, but there is happiness in each imperfect part of my life. I think a major part of how I’m able to see all of this is my faith. I don’t speak often publicly about my faith, but if you know me well you know how important it is to me. I truly, deeply believe that you are not given anything that you cannot handle. I also think that sometimes you have to have patience with life’s hardships so that you can finally see the blessing that they give you.

So, to celebrate my big 4-0 I plan on finally doing SUP and watching my daughter perform with her rock band camp friends. I may sneak some Mexican food in there somewhere, too

Tags: faith, fun, old, turning 40

Okay, I need help so naturally I turn to you, the public. I have fallen off the exercise wagon and I MUST get back on. Earlier this year, I ran a half marathon. Then I “recovered” and “rewarded” myself for that for the next several months Now my body is in a state it hasn’t seen since I was last pregnant. Not pretty.

I will spare you the details of the actual weight number and the amount of huffing when climbing stairs. Let’s just say it’s all higher than it ever should be. At first I tried that supposedly motivating thing of “I’m not buying any new clothes at the bigger size to motivate me to drop some pounds to fit into what I have”. I caved. Bought the next size up. Then I tried that whole “It doesn’t matter what I weigh, people I know don’t judge me that way”. This is still true, but doesn’t mean I should be unhealthy. Then I did the whole “Life is too short to not enjoy each day” thing. I still believe that, but can’t enjoy life if I can’t keep up with the kids for all the huffing and gasping for breath as we play.

I can’t/don’t/won’t diet. (pick one) I enjoy food. I can watch portions some, but cannot seem to cut out types of food. Because of this, none of those diet type weight things work for me. I just can’t sustain long term a major change in what I eat. I have also learned that Mexican food and I should not be separated for over a week. It’s just a fact of life. I’ve accepted it and plan to work around it.

That leads me to the What To Do About It part of the post. I am totally ripping off/copying/modeling my friend Darryl’s 30 Days of Biking (#30DaysOfBiking on Twitter). H/T to his blog on all things cycling related Loving The Bike He is doing some really cool things there in the cycling world. My take on this is 30 Days of Moving (#30daysofmoving if you are on Twitter). I figure by my excellent calendar counting skills that we have about 30 days until the new school year starts. I will hopefully be greeting my new class of students then (I am nothing if not a positive thought leader) so I figure I need to get something started before then. My plan is to start this on July 22nd and go for 30 days in a row of moving. This means at least 30 minutes of exercise each day. You can do more if you are so motivated and it can be any form of exercise — biking, running, walking, swimming, spin class, rowing, weights, SUP, whatevs. Only rule is YOU MUST MOVE!!! And post your results, accomplishments, frustrations, bragging, etc. here on this blog or on Twitter (using #30daysofmoving) or on Google + circle or in Facebook group. Let me know if you want to be added to the G+ or the FB group. The main goal is to encourage each of us (including me) to keep moving. Once we have achieved our 30 days, we should be in the routine to keep it going. We can continue to keep each other on track and motivated beyond the 30 days, but this should be a good start.

What do you think? Are you in?

Disclaimer: Just in case you couldn’t tell by the above non-technical post, I am NOT a fitness expert or any kind of kinesiology major/degree-holder nor do I even know one well. So don’t join this thinking you are getting some sort real training or actual fitness advice. This is only for support for a lifestyle change or adjustment that I know I need.

Tags: couch potato, cycling, fitness, running, SUP

good! I mean this sub thing is pretty weird. Lots of days you don’t know whether or not you are going to work, but you still get up at 5:00 am. You are singing clean up songs one day in Kindergarten and dealing with teen angst issues the next in middle school. Strange. How many other jobs do you get to “try out” first before making a decision? I get to see many different schools and how they function; many different classrooms; and many different teaching styles. It’s cool. I rapidly take notes on things I want to copy. I take pictures of how certain classes are arranged. I read. I learn. I copy what works. I try new ideas. Teaching has tapped into my creative side like I never thought it would. My tech background is essential and makes teaching even more fun. Following someone else’s plan is comforting in the beginning, but as I get more into this I itch to create my own plan. I long for extra time left over in the day so I can do extra creative fun stuff with the kids. It is amazing what they can do with minimal instruction and lots of cool technology at their hands.

Our after school Digital Storytelling class at UT Elementary is a highlight of my week. Here’s an excerpt from one of the stories created during that class. We plan on having a showcase for parents to attend (red carpet and all) so they can see the cool work their children have created. Must say a big THANK YOU to Dell YouthConnect for providing the grant that funds this program. We hope have even a broader reach next year.

Now on the school front – I’m still plugging away at my certification classes. Michael and I are both on the last class and ready to start taking the exams required. We have had so much fun going through this process together. Some days I get giddy at the thought that we could be teaching at the same school with our own kids attending there as well. It may not turn out that way, but the idea of that scenario is pretty awesome.

I still end each day totally exhausted (teachers, do you ever get used to this level of activity?), but ready to get up and do it again the next day. Whew!

The only constant in life is change, right? Well, here’s the latest:

Nearly a year ago Michael left his job of 10 years at Apple Computer. Although this was surprising and not a completely happy event, it set into motion forced changes that have made life even more fulfilling. Michael decided to pursue a career in teaching that has always been a lingering idea for him. Knowing that would mean a significant change in income, I stepped up my responsibilities at WeAreTeachers. We enjoyed a fantastic summer as a family with him off and my work flexible enough to take on the road. What a gift. My new responsibilities at WeAreTeachers turned out to be so incredibly fun, professionally satisfying and led me to meet/work with even more fantastic people I would have never known otherwise. Gift. Michael was able to work this school year at an incredible school, the University of Texas Elementary School where he has found a happiness/career fulfillment that he didn’t think existed. Gift. Fast forward to the past month. WeAreTeachers was nominated and then won a Statesman Social Media Award. Wow. That was really cool to say the least. It was incredible to be included with so many inspiring groups/people and to be honored for all the work our team has accomplished. My face hurt at the end of the awards night from smiling so much. Gift. Right before the awards, WeAreTeachers was sold to MDR (a Dun and Bradstreet company). Another super cool event as I have seen this company from the creation of its name to now. With this sell, I decided to move on feeling that I had just helped create something that was ready for the next phase and so was I. With Michael’s turn to education, I was inspired to also go back into the classroom. So here I am. Taking classes to tidy up my teaching certification, taking Spanish classes to work towards bilingual certification, substitute teaching, and teaching after school classes. Life is very different inside a classroom vs working from my laptop at home to say the least. It’s a challenge that I look forward to each day. I finish the day feeling very exhausted, but also feeling like something I did today may have made a difference. It’s that “making a difference” thing that gives me the push to do it again the next day. I feel a little crazy starting a new career at (nearly) 40, but it also feels right. Now, if only there were still some teaching jobs out there… details

Tags: career changes, happy, teacher, teaching